You started to miss home again.

Five years ago. You miss home because you were alone. You were young. Alone in a strange land.

Now, you are alone again. 200KM away from KL. 200KM from Singapore. Helpless.

Just this morning you left home. You thought you were "going home" to Singapore. You were really excited about it. And so you aboarded the bus. 5 hours more to Singapore. You started to plan how you are going to spend your Christmas.

However you are now trapped in Johor. You lost your wallet. Pickpocket. Fuck. Anger overwhelmed by fear. And you are nervous. You have to abort the bus ride to make a police report. In Malay. Fuck, you don't know Malay you thought. To your surprise you still do.

You wait for the next bus to Singapore. You sit there alone. Everyone else are with their friend or family, all excited about their holiday. And you are there alone.

You want to shout. You want to scream. You want to cry. You want to cry.

But you didn't because you know people are watching. Though you are already weeping inside. You are scared.

You are alone.

You have felt lonely before but you were not alone. Just lonely.

But now you are really alone. Helpless.

You didn't cry. You want to but you didn't.

You start to miss home.

You regreted how you hadn't spent time with your family. Five years. Tears dangling at the corner of your eyes.

Eight hours later you finally reach the hostel. There's no one in the hostel. You arrive at the doorstep of your room and it is dark. Your eyes are flooded with tears and you cry like no one is around. No one is really around. You are scared and helpless. Weeping.

What are your fear? Loneliness? Helplessness?

You hope that no one can hear you, at the same time half-hoping that someone cares.

Labels: Sentimental Requiem